Looking toward the future together.
My last post talked about the importance of communication in your job search. Keeping your spouse in the loop will ease some stress. Today, I would like to talk to your spouse about how to treat you in your job search. I have heard many job searchers express these are things their spouse knew, and I am sharing them here with you.
Hi spouse of a job searcher,
Your spouse is looking for a job. It’s stressful for both of you. You are both worried about finances and how long will it take to get a job. Your spouse is spending a great deal of time looking for a job and maybe not available as they once were. He/She is attending all sorts of networking events, and it seems like having coffee with just about everyone on the planet.
Well I can tell you that he/she is looking for a job. Today’s job search isn’t about reading the Sunday paper and sending resumes to companies that have a job ad. It is said that over 80% of all jobs are obtained by networking.
When you come home and ask what he/she did all day only makes them feel worse than they already feel. Believe me he/she has been working. Finding a job takes time for most people. The stories you hear about people getting jobs quickly don’t happen to everyone.
The job posting you found online, in a newspaper, or heard from a friend may not be what you spouse is looking for. Yes, it’s a job with a paycheck, but work satisfaction has to be part of the mix. Being unhappy at a job can happen at any time, but you don’t want to go into a job knowing it isn’t what you want. Just because your spouse can do the work, doesn’t mean the hiring manager will think so. Now there are many applicants for each job. The people who get a job are qualified and have many years of experience. Being turned down for a job is demeaning even if you don’t want the job.
Wait until you are asked to offer advice. Telling your spouse you should be doing this or that only complicates the job search. The job search,today,is different. What was popular a few years ago may not be acceptable now. Rather, encourage your spouse to learn the latest strategies from a professional or at a career center. Have a conversation with your spouse and let him/her know what you are willing and able to do when they ask for it. When he/she asks, do whatever you can.
Be genuine in your positive reinforcement. Your spouse has known you long enough to know when you are forcing the encouragement. If it isn’t genuine, it condescending. Continue to show your spouse why you love them. Urge them to take time away from the job search to have fun as a family, with friends and alone with you.
You know your spouse better than anyone. Watch their behavior, if you see signs of depression more than just sadness, help them seek professional help.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. The job search is a difficult time. But you have weathered many storms and each time you came through stronger, and this will be the case if talk honestly with your spouse about your expectations and listen to his/hers. You love your job searcher and he/she loves you. Treat each other with kindness and compassion through this difficult time together.
How can I help you in your job search?
