Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was working, not even the mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes they wouldn’t show the wear and tear.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of ipads, Abercrombie and Fitch danced in their heads.
With bills unpaid and the mortgage due
I tried to relax and renew.
When in my chest I felt a flutter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Right to the laptop I flew
To see what I should do.
To WebMD I went right away
By now it was all the healthcare I could pay
But what to my eyes should appear,
The reason for my flutter became clear.
With the symptoms spelled out
I knew I was stressed with no doubt
Not having a job was heavy on my mind.
I needed a job of any kind.
To Careerbuilder! To Monster! To Craigslist and Indeed.
On the company websites I had to look with speed.
I found all the jobs that I would apply
Now to create a resume without a lie
Functional or chronological, it was difficult to choose.
The only thing that mattered was the schmooze.
So I decided on one.
And from my mind the words did run.
And then in a flash it was complete.
Making it effective was quite a feat.
But there was no time to relax
It had to go by fax.
Each had a cover letter
To make my skills and experience look better.
Sending a packet to each firm
I wondered who would confirm.
The fax machine LCD twinkled on each transmission
While I only hoped for a successful reception.
The tones and beeps confirmed my premonition
I was on my way to ending this transition.
The cookies set out for Santa before
Were my fuel for this tedious chore.
One by one the resumes were fed into the machine
To finish this task I would surely need caffeine.
This would be a good job for some little elf.
I laughed when I thought of this in spite of myself.
Soon I realized I had nothing to dread
Because doing it myself they would arrive and maybe read.
Without taking a break, I continued my work
I wanted to finish before I went berserk.
The hour was late and I wanted to doze,
But needed to finish before everyone arose.
I finished at last with some time to spare
And decided to spend the rest of the night in my chair.
I managed to utter before my head started to bob
Happy Christmas to all and to all good a job!