Twas The Night Before Christmas of the Job Searcher

December 24, 2014 | Author: Arleen Bradley
The stockings were hung by the fire in the hopes

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was working, not even the mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes they wouldn’t show the wear and tear.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of ipads, Abercrombie and Fitch danced in their heads.

With bills unpaid and the mortgage due
I tried to relax and renew.
When in my chest I felt a flutter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Right to the laptop I flew
To see what I should do.
To WebMD I went right away
By now it was all the healthcare I could pay

But what to my eyes should appear,
The reason for my flutter became clear.
With the symptoms spelled out
I knew I was stressed with no doubt
Not having a job was heavy on my mind.
I needed a job of any kind.
To Careerbuilder! To Monster! To Craigslist and Indeed.
On the company websites I had to look with speed.

I found all the jobs that I would apply
Now to create a resume without a lie
Functional or chronological, it was difficult to choose.
The only thing that mattered was the schmooze.
So I decided on one.
And from my mind the words did run.
And then in a flash it was complete.
Making it effective was quite a feat.

But there was no time to relax
It had to go by fax.
Each had a cover letter
To make my skills and experience look better.
Sending a packet to each firm
I wondered who would confirm.
The fax machine LCD twinkled on each transmission
While I only hoped for a successful reception.
The tones and beeps confirmed my premonition
I was on my way to ending this transition.

The cookies set out for Santa before
Were my fuel for this tedious chore.
One by one the resumes were fed into the machine
To finish this task I would surely need caffeine.
This would be a good job for some little elf.
I laughed when I thought of this in spite of myself.
Soon I realized I had nothing to dread
Because doing it myself they would arrive and maybe read.

Without taking a break, I continued my work
I wanted to finish before I went berserk.
The hour was late and I wanted to doze,
But needed to finish before everyone arose.
I finished at last with some time to spare
And decided to spend the rest of the night in my chair.
I managed to utter before my head started to bob
Happy Christmas to all and to all good a job!

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The 12 Pains of Job Hunting

December 22, 2014 | Author: Arleen Bradley

You have heard and even sang the 12 Days of Christmas.  But have you heard about the 12 pains of job hunting?  If you have ever been in a job search, you have experienced all or some of them.  Here is my tribute to the 12 Pains of Job Hunting for you to enjoy. 

The first thing of Job hunting that’s such a pain to me
1   Is finding the opening

Job Search Frustration

Job Search Frustration

The second thing of Job Hunting that’s such a pain to me:
2 writing up resumes
1 And finding the opening

The third thing of Job Hunting that’s such a pain to me
3 Cover letters
2 which resume format

1 And finding the opening

The fourth thing of Job Hunting that’s such a pain to me
4 Sending out resumes
3 To Whom it May Concern
2 Don’t use an objective?
1 And finding the opening

The fifth thing of Job Hunting that’s such a pain to me
5 Five phone screens!
4 Fax, email or snail mail
3 How many paragraphs are enough?
2 Honors, awards, and achievements?
1 And finding the opening

The sixth thing of Job Hunting that’s such a pain to me:
6 Facing the interview
5 Five phone screens!
4 Uploading my résumé on the website
3 Cover letters don’t get read
2 Finding the keywords
1 And finding the opening

The seventh thing of Job Hunting that’s such a pain to me:
7 Networking

6 Dressing for the interview

5 Five phone screens!
4 Can’t I just walk in and hand it to someone

3 Cover letters are always read
2 Quiet please!   I’m trying to write a résumé!

1 And finding the opening
The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
8 I know how you feel
7 Contacts

6 And what do you mean another interview
5 Five phone screens!
4 What do you it doesn’t go by fax anymore?!?
3 Some people will read cover letters
2 No lying on the résumé

1 And finding the opening
The ninth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
9 I Need business cards?
8 I think you should….!!!!
7 LinkedIn
6 Researching for the interview

5 Five phone screens!
4 Typing up the résumé
3 I need a better cover letter

2 Now why are the margins different?!?!?
1 And finding the opening

The tenth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
10 Benefits Not Included
9 Why do I Need business cards?

8 How many recommendations?!
7 Speed Networking?!

6 What questions will they ask?

5 Five phone screens!
4 OH-no, sending resumes
3 Look at this another cover letter style!
2 One bullet goes wacky; they ALL go wacky!!!
1 And finding the opening
The eleventh thing of Job Hunting that’s such a pain to me:
11 Dressing for the Interview

10 No Paid Vacation

9 Where do I get Business Cards?
8 We found someone with a better fit!!
7 Who do YOU know?
6 Interviews…I hate them!
5 Five phone screens!
4 So how do I keep my résumé out of the black hole?
3 Who’s knows what color paper I should use?
2 Get the whiteout…I made a mistake!!
1 And finding the opening
The twelfth thing of Job Hunting that’s such a pain to me:
12 Never hearing back anything at all!!

11 Dressing for the Interview

10 No Paid sick time

9 What’s a VISTAPRINT?!?
8 What do you do all day?
7 Friends, relatives, and colleagues!
6 Got to write a thank you!
5 Five phone screens!
4 I’m not sending the résumé that’s it!
3 Do I really need a cover letter?

2 If one more person tells me my résumé needs work!!
1 And finding the opening

Posted in holiday job search, job search humor | 4 Comments

The Best Thing for Your Holiday Job Search

December 20, 2014 | Author: Arleen Bradley
Put aside your job search for a while and enjoy the holidays.

Put aside your job search for a while and enjoy the holidays.

One thing on shopping lists at this time of the year is batteries.  Batteries come in different sizes to accommodate the various toys and electronics they will be used to power.  You want the ones that will keep going, and going, and going.

You are like batteries when you search for a job.  You keep going, and going, and going.  But like batteries, you will lose power and need to recharge.  For the next couple of weeks, take time off from your job search.  You have worked hard on your search for a long time.  It’s time for you to enjoy the holiday.  Think of it as your holiday vacation.

Taking some time off from your job search won’t hurt. In fact, it can only help.   In order to recharge most batteries, they need to be not working when recharging.  That is what you should be doing.  Be fully in the moment without the job search being on your mind.  Put it out of your mind and concentrate on the holiday.

You can put to rest the resumes and cover letters, refrain from searching the big boards for open positions, and anxiously waiting for the phone to ring with an interview or job offer.  The only thing you will need to continue is networking.  Nevertheless, you can build relationships instead of leads, relationships that you can follow-up on after the New Year and should certainly do so.  You can enjoy the friendship and conversation instead of trying to get a sense of whether this person can help you.

Make some time for you.  Relax, read a book, take a nap.  Do whatever makes you feel good and less stressed. Watch your favorite holiday movies and other things that make you feel good.  Spend some time laughing with others.  When you get back to your job search, you will feel rejuvenated and ready to go. 

Make happy memories with family and friends.  With this time, you can do things you haven’t done because you didn’t have the time.  Do some cooking and baking; they make delicious gifts.  Decorate your home.  Attend the parties and events that you haven’t been able to in the past.  Enjoy the holidays and what comes with them.

Yes, enjoy the even the children wired up from eating too many cookies and too much candy; the friend or relative who had just a drop too much of Christmas cheer; the crowded stores and traffic; and the unsolicited advice from yet other well-meaning source.   These, too, are what memories are made of.

Enjoy this respite because this little break is soon over. On January 2, you will be back at your job search rested and ready to go with new enthusiasm. 

How can I help you in your job search?

image:  freedigitalphotos.net  gualberto 107

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The Best Thing for Your Holiday Job Search

December 19, 2014 | Author: Arleen Bradley
Put aside your job search for a while and enjoy the holidays.

Put aside your job search for a while and enjoy the holidays.

One thing on shopping lists at this time of the year is batteries.  Batteries come in different sizes to accommodate the various toys and electronics they will be used to power.  You want the ones that will keep going, and going, and going.

You are like batteries when you search for a job.  You keep going, and going, and going.  But like batteries, you will lose power and need to recharge.  For the next couple of weeks, take time off from your job search.  You have worked hard on your search for a long time.  It’s time for you to enjoy the holiday.  Think of it as your holiday vacation.

Taking some time off from your job search won’t hurt. In fact, it can only help.   In order to recharge most batteries, they need to be not working when recharging.  That is what you should be doing.  Be fully in the moment without the job search being on your mind.  Put it out of your mind and concentrate on the holiday.

You can put to rest the resumes and cover letters, refrain from searching the big boards for open positions, and anxiously waiting for the phone to ring with an interview or job offer.  The only thing you will need to continue is networking.  Nevertheless, you can build relationships instead of leads, relationships that you can follow-up on after the New Year and should certainly do so.  You can enjoy the friendship and conversation instead of trying to get a sense of whether this person can help you.

Make some time for you.  Relax, read a book, take a nap.  Do whatever makes you feel good and less stressed. Watch your favorite holiday movies and other things that make you feel good.  Spend some time laughing with others.  When you get back to your job search, you will feel rejuvenated and ready to go. 

Make happy memories with family and friends.  With this time, you can do things you haven’t done because you didn’t have the time.  Do some cooking and baking; they make delicious gifts.  Decorate your home.  Attend the parties and events that you haven’t been able to in the past.  Enjoy the holidays and what comes with them.

Yes, enjoy the even the children wired up from eating too many cookies and too much candy; the friend or relative who had just a drop too much of Christmas cheer; the crowded stores and traffic; and the unsolicited advice from yet other well-meaning source.   These, too, are what memories are made of.

Enjoy this respite because this little break is soon over. On January 2, you will be back at your job search rested and ready to go with new enthusiasm. 

How can I help you in your job search?

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It’s All About the Gratitude

December 17, 2014 | Author: Arleen Bradley
Don't let people forget you.

Don’t let people forget you.

When my children were little, I would take a holiday photo of them in festive clothes and cute poses so that friends and relatives could see how they had grown in the previous year.  Then I would write our names in the cards and address the envelopes.  People enjoyed receiving the photos.  I would see them posted on refrigerators through the year.

The most difficult part was the letter that I would send to let people know what we had done in the last year.  It had to be worded just right.  I didn’t want to sound like I was bragging, but then I didn’t want to share the distressing news.  Finding just the right balance took time. 

That’s what holiday cards are all about, letting people know what has happened to us during the last year and wishing them well in the coming year.  But if you are a job searcher, thanking those who have helped you in any way is the best way for people to remember you.

It’s best to send a generic New Year greeting to thank your friends, contacts, recruiters, former managers, colleagues, customers and vendors to avoid offending anyone not celebrating the holiday season. It will be counterproductive if you show insensitivity to other’s beliefs.  

If anyone of the above has helped you in any way, send a card in the mail.  If you are just touching base to remind them of your relationship, an email message that is sincere is proper.  Consider bringing them up-to-date briefly on your current situation. It’s more about the appreciation.  Share a story, article, thought, or memory because you are building a relationship. 

In the spirit of building a relationship, suggest getting together for coffee in the coming weeks.  Keep it light and friendly and not desperate or depressed.  Include your name and contact information in the card.  I don’t think a business card sends a warm fuzzy, holiday feeling.  You are staying in touch or thanking them for a favor you received; not looking for a job. 

It isn’t too late to send out cards. Your goal is sending out New Year greetings, not Christmas.  So you have time to get these out.  In fact, you can wait until the day after Christmas to choose your cards when they all go on sale.  And who doesn’t want to save money. 

Give people thanks for what they have done for you this year as a gentle reminder about your status; if they hear of something they are more likely to think of you for the position.  You don’t need to make it a long message; just enough to let them know you appreciate their help.

How can I help you with your job search?

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