How to Discover What Is Sabotaging Your Job Search

March 5, 2012 | Author: admin-sextant

searching for limiting beliefsWhat are you limiting beliefs?

Last week I told that a limiting belief is something that holds you back from living the life you were meant to live.  It is something that you have acquired from many different sources.  The information you believe about yourself is false, but you believe it and trust it more than the truth.

This week I will show you how to identify your limiting beliefs.  Once you identify it, you can begin changing your thoughts to start living your life.

Some of your limiting beliefs will be hard to find because they have been with you since you were young.  Some of your negative beliefs are from your parents and grandparents.  Your family obtained these from their country of origin, popular thoughts of their day, or their experiences.  These thoughts passed from one generation to another may not be relevant to your life today.  However, these outdated, extinct beliefs are holding you back.

How do you find your limiting beliefs?

Here are  ways to find your limiting beliefs.  First, think about what you have heard your parents and grandparents have said about various issues.  Are any of these thoughts still relevant today?  Do you continue to think this way?  Is it preventing you from doing something?  Another variation of this is what your parents or grandparents said to you when you were experiencing difficulties.  Were they supportive of your decisions?  Did they discourage you from going forward?  Did they cite their own inabilities?

Second, think of something you want to accomplish now or wanted to do years ago.  What does the thought say to you?  Do you feel uncomfortable thinking about having done this?  Does it feel that is out of your reach?

Third, think about something you want to have.  Now listen to your self-talk.  What is it saying about  having that thing?  Is it saying you can’t afford it?  You don’t deserve it.  Are thoughts preventing you from getting it?

Fourth, think about the following statements, do you think like this.  Who you are and what you can do are set in stone and cannot be changed.  It is what it is so there is no sense in even thinking about other views.  There is only one of doing things.   These statements are limiting beliefs.  These statements are some of the many popular limiting beliefs.  Below are examples of how they are stated.

•    I can’t dance; I have two left feet.
•    I am a carpenter; I can’t do the books.
•    I have to do all the cooking, cleaning, and preparing for the holiday.
•    No one will hire me because I am too old.
•    My skills are out of date.

What to do with them when you find them?

Take some time and think about what you think about yourself and your situation.  Don’t worry if takes some doing to get your thoughts out.  Some of them are buried under innocuous views.  Take notice of your thoughts for several days.  If any of them are negative, think about why you feel that way.  Write down everything you can about what you are thinking and feeling about your beliefs.  They will be used next week when I will show you how to start turning your limiting beliefs into positive affirmations and self-talk.

Arleen Bradley has two certifications in career coaching and certification in the Job-Loss Recovery Program .  She assists clients in moving beyond job loss grief in order to land dream jobs using the Job-Loss Recovery Program.  The Job-Loss Recovery Program uses guided imagery to achieve results. To learn more about it and how you can benefit from it, log on to   www.arleenbradley.com.  Or send me an email at [email protected].

Posted in career transitions, Guided Imagery, Job Loss Grief, Job Search, job search help, Law of Attraction, need a job, Postive Thinking, survivng unemployment, unemployed | Leave a Comment

Is Your Job Search Sabotaged?

February 27, 2012 | Author: admin-sextant

Sound like you?

Do any of these statements sound familiar?  I’ll never get a job.  There are too many people out there looking.  There are no jobs.  I don’t know the right people.

The above statements are limiting beliefs.  They are sabotaging many job searchers. Those statements are wrong but seem real to the owner.   Statements like this prevent the owner from going forward.  They are sabotaging the job search.

How did the owner come to these limiting beliefs?  They came from where all limiting beliefs come from family, friends, media, teachers, lack of knowledge, and inaccurate information.  Take a look at these two scenarios.

Limiting beliefs are learned.

You see a hot stove but and you don’t touch the surface because you know you could get burnt and it hurts. You meet my husband for the first time and find out he is a math professor, you tell him that you are not good in math.  The first statement is true because it is a fact.  Being burnt hurts was something you learned from experience or were taught.  The second is something that is a learned belief.  You didn’t understand one point, and that leads you to think all math is difficult.  But did it occur to you that the person showing you didn’t teach it properly; maybe you were going through a difficulty that prevented you from concentrating.  Something else to consider, you are trying to fit in with your peer group.  This group thinks it’s ok to not to like math, so you don’t like it, too.  Another idea, your ancestors had limited education and always said math was a problem for them.  You heard this from many family members.

There is a story about a young bride who was learning to cook a ham by her mother.  The first thing the mother stressed the ends are cut off.  The bride questioned her mother as to why and the reason was that her mother did the same thing.  When asked, the grandmother said that early on, she didn’t have a large enough pan to cook the whole ham.

An elephant never forgets.

Another story:  the elephant is a huge, powerful animal that will stay put and not try to leave when chained to a stake.  The reason is, as an infant, the elephant was tied to that stake but was unable to break the chain. The behavior learned as a baby elephant carried through to adulthood and the elephant believes that he is no match for the chain and spike.

Limiting beliefs sabotage your efforts.  If you really believe can’t do something, you won’t even try.  Any mistake along the way and you point to the fact that you knew you could not do it. This prevents you from moving forward.  You can also project your limiting beliefs on to other people.  You think they see you in the same way you see yourself.  When in actuality, they don’t, they think you are capable and a likeable person.

To be continued….

Next week I will show you how to identify your limiting beliefs.  After you identify your limiting beliefs, you can then start working to change them and start living the life you are meant to live.

 

 

Arleen Bradley is has two certifications in career coaching and certification in the Job-Loss Recovery Program .  She assists clients in moving beyond job loss grief in order to land dream jobs using the Job-Loss Recovery Program.  The Job-Loss Recovery Program uses guided imagery to achieve results. To learn more about it and how you can benefit from it, log on to   www.arleenbradley.com.

 

Photo credit:  chanipat  freedigitalphotos.net

Posted in career transitions, Job Search, job search help, Law of Attraction, Postive Thinking, survivng unemployment, unemployed | 2 Comments

Job Loss and Self-Identity

February 20, 2012 | Author: admin-sextant

Seven years ago I lost my job.  It wasn’t just any job; I was working for my church.  The church my family had been involved in for 100 years.  I lost not only my job; I also lost where I went to church; the support system of people I had shared my faith with; the place where I socialized and many friends.  For various reasons, the members went to all different parishes.  It was a lot to lose for one person. I lost the place, activities and people I would go to in times of trouble.  But it was gone.  Not only did I have to look for a new job but I had to find a new parish and start assembling faith sharing group.

Who am I?

However, I had lost my identity.  I had been a Director of Religious Education (DRE) at Sacred Heart Parish in Lawrence, Massachusetts.  I had a title that described what I did, what I believed and where I did it.  If I was no longer the DRE at Sacred Heart, who was I?  My skills didn’t seem to translate into the secular world.

What do I do?

The chances of repeating my role as a DRE in the Archdiocese of Boston didn’t looking promising as 80 parishes were closed at that time.  I had tightly woven my identity, my job and my church.  I had poured my heart and soul into the job and parish; it had become who I was.  After it had been closed, I didn’t know who I was, where I belonged or what I wanted to do.  People asked me what I kind of job I wanted but I didn’t know.   I looked for something in a haystack but didn’t know what.

What I do.

After taking different jobs doing various tasks, I realized who I was. I was a people person.  I enjoy helping people.  Now when I think about who I am, I no longer think of myself as a particular title.  I am happiest when I can help people get what they want; whether it’s a job, a skill, a connection or a listening ear.  That is what I do best.  Anything I can that uses this talent is my job.

Who I am.

I am someone who can help you.  I am proud of my ability to assist people in their needs.  Sometimes I am a career coach, other times I am an office assistant or daughter who will take her parents where they need to go.  I am not just one thing.  I enjoy being resourceful and capable.  If need be, I will learn all I can to better help people out.

I attend a parish regularly and have made friends there, but not tied to that parish.  I attend Mass at different churches.  I have a support system that isn’t faith-based.  I have made my job one of helping people find jobs.  But I am open to other possibilities as they are made known rather than tying myself down to one identity.  When the inevitable change comes, I will be able to adjust to meet the new challenges.

How are you defining yourself?

Arleen Bradley is has two certifications in career coaching and certification in the Job-Loss Recovery Program .  She assists clients in moving beyond job loss grief in order to land dream jobs using the Job-Loss Recovery Program.  The Job-Loss Recovery Program uses guided imagery to achieve results. To learn more about it and how you can benefit from it, log on to   www.arleenbradley.com.

Call Me

Posted in career transitions, job search help, survivng unemployment, unemployed | 6 Comments

Reduce Interview Stress and Ace the Interview

February 13, 2012 | Author: admin-sextant

In my last post, I talked about the stress caused by interviews and how to it reduced by breathing.  Not just any breathing, but diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing.   There is a remarkable relationship between how you breathe and the stress you feel.  Put breathing from your diaphragm into your preparations to ace interviews.

The Problem

When you take fast, shallow breaths from your chest, you reduce the oxygen levels in your blood.  This can cause some unpleasant symptoms such as:

  • Dizziness
  • Muscle tension
  • Depression/anxiety
  • High blood pressure
  • Confusion
  • Rapid heart rate

If these symptoms look familiar, they are.  These also happen to be the same things you feel when you interview.  However, these signs can be reduced significantly by breathing from your belly or diaphragm.

The Benefits

When you breathe from your diaphragm, you use your entire lung.  The diaphragm is below your lungs.  The increased lung function makes the oxygen/carbon dioxide exchange more efficient which provide more oxygen to your blood.  The results of more oxygen in your blood will:

  • Relax tense muscles
  • Reduce stress
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Clearer thinking
  • Lower heart rate

Back In the Day

You used to breathe deep down in your abdomen.  Everyone did.  As newborns, you breathed from the belly naturally.  You may even breathe like that during your sleep.  Somehow, you began breathing from your chest.  Perhaps it was because you were told to stand up straight with your chest out and stomach in.  This posture constricted your abdominal muscles then reduced the depth of your breathing.  Tight clothing does the same thing as does slouching when you sit.

But you can relearn to breathe from your diaphragm.  In few minutes a day, you can learn and practice breathing to increase your physical and mental wellbeing.  It may feel strange at first, but with continued practice, you can change your breathing at will.  You will be able to stop stress in its tracks whenever there is a need.

Learn How To Breathe

To begin, first find a place where you won’t be interrupted.  You can either sit down with your feet on the ground or lay down on the floor.

  1. Place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your stomach.
  2. Close your eyes as you breathe slowly through your nose.  Inhale the air all the way past your lungs and down into your abdomen.  You should feel the hand on your stomach rise, while the hand on your chest stays where it is.
  3. Concentrate where you want the air to go.
  4. Breathe out slowly through your nose.
  5. Keep breathing this way for a few minutes.
  6. Increase the amount of time each day.
  7. Don’t rush and take slow even breaths.
  8. Practice, practice, practice

Practice while waiting for a traffic light.  Practice as you are falling asleep.  Practice while reading.  Practice while watching a movie or TV.  Practice while preparing for an interview. Practice anywhere and anytime you want.  Just practice.

You want to practice so that when you have an interview or a root canal, you will be ready to become relaxed and ready for anything.  If you reduce your stress, you increase your interview performance.  And your chances for a job offer.

Arleen Bradley is a certified career coach and certified job loss recovery coach.  She assists clients in moving beyond job loss grief in order to land dream jobs using the Job Loss Recovery Program.  The Job Loss Recovery Program uses guided imagery to achieve results. To learn more about the Job Loss Recovery Program and how you can benefit from it, log on to   www.arleenbradley.com.

Photo credit:  ambro  freedigitalphotos.net

Posted in career transitions, find a job help, Interview stress, Interviews, Job Search, job search help, need a job, Postive Thinking, survivng unemployment | 4 Comments

Interviews are like root canals without Novocaine.

February 6, 2012 | Author: admin-sextant

Why are Interviews Stressful? Interviews have to be one the world’s most stressful activities.  Given a choice between a root canal and an interview, I think I would take neither.  I don’t like either one for different reasons.  I don’t like the pain involved in a root canal or the expense.  The interview just throws me for a loop.  In both instances, the person on the opposite side feels no pain and is experiencing just another day at the office.

Why are interviews so stressful?  After doing some thinking about it, I realized what makes it so uncomfortable. Humans don’t like the unknown.  Although you prepare for questions and research the company, you don’t know what the right fit for the position is.  Did you prepare for the questions they would ask?  There are functional questions, behavioral questions, the weird and wacky questions.  A quick internet search will reveal a multitude of questions that are possible questions an interviewer could ask.  It’s overwhelming.

The other factor is the impact the results of the interview will have on your life. Interviewing is not an everyday occurrence. It is a special event that holds your future in its hands. If you get the job, your problems are solved.  But if you don’t get the job, you will have to continue looking, and the process will start again. The other issues surrounding unemployment will continue.

There are many things you can do to reduce the stress an interview produces.  You can prepare the possible questions, dress your best, research the company, and the rest of the interview preparation strategies.  However, there is one more thing you can do.  Breathe.  Yes, breathe.  Not the breathing you are doing right now but breathe from your diaphragm.  Breathing is something you do automatically; you don’t have to think about it. The process involves oxygen, carbon dioxide and your blood.  You need oxygen to live.  The oxygen around us is mixed with carbon dioxide that we don’t need.  When we don’t breathe properly, the imbalance of oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange contributes to the anxiety, fatigue, physical symptoms and the emotional upset.

When we are stressed we tend to breathe from our chest in quick and shallow breaths.  This type of breathing causes dizziness, racing heart rate, muscle ache and the other symptoms we feel.  This is caused by the low levels of oxygen.  The proper exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide results from the breathing from the diaphragm in a slow, regular pattern.  When this happens, your blood is oxygenated, and your autonomic nervous system switches to relaxation mode reducing  the stress you feel.  You have just turned off the stress and turned on the calm.

Next week, I will tell you how to go about breathing from your diaphragm.  A method I have successfully used while having a root canal without Novocaine.

Arleen Bradley is a certified career coach and certified job loss recovery coach.  She assists clients in moving beyond job loss grief in order to land dream jobs using the Job Loss Recovery Program.  The Job Loss Recovery Program uses guided imagery to achieve results. To learn more about the Job Loss Recovery Program and how you can benefit from it, log on to   www.arleenbradley.com.

Photo credit:  ambro  freedigitalphotos.net

Posted in career coaching, career transitions, find a job help, Guided Imagery, Job Loss Grief, Law of Attraction, Postive Thinking, survivng unemployment | 1 Comment